Video replays. The English can be spectacularly insular and conservative when it comes to change. Officials constantly tell us that video replays would slow down the game too much. Is an extra thirty seconds for the most controversial issues worth less than the thirty seconds currently added to matches for each substitution? Take the Everton-Tottenham game on Monday. While the Toffees' Thomas Gravesen was looking at his leg and fainting, the fourth official had ample time to look at a video replay and inform the referee that Spurs' thug Mauricio Taricco's services were no longer required. Even cricket uses video replays now - soccer must adapt them too.

Last man standing. It doesn't take a genius to work out that defenders tend to be the last man. Southampton's Claus Lundekvam at Leeds and Spurs' Gary Doherty at Everton mistimed tackles and saw straight red. Hardly the professional fouls that the last man rule was introduced to stop. For Doherty and Kevin Campbell's tangled legs, not to mention Boro's Ugo Ehiogu's phantom foul on Ashley Cole, to constitute a match-changing penalty decision was unacceptable.

Team fouls. There is no faster soccer than that played in the EPL - when Arsenal and Leeds go at each other, the pace will be fast and furious. On Tuesday, the Whites' Eirik Bakke had not even touched the ball when he found his name in Jeff Winter's notebook. His offence? Being the last in a line of Leeds players late to the ball. How about a version of the NBA's team foul rule to issue a yellow card to a team, giving them warning that a similar spree would result in a free-kick, say 25 yards from the goal? Leave the individual cautions to the really bad tackles.

The art of conversation. Before you hand out a yellow card, issue a verbal warning. Is two fouls per match a realistic limit for a player in the modern game? Have a chat, then book him the next time. Have a couple more chats, and a fifth bad foul then becomes the red card deliminator. Players would know where they stand. Soccer is a sport of 11 versus 11; Lee Bowyer, Ray Parlour, Brian O'Neil, Gustavo Poyet, Danny Mills and Craig Short would have been free to continue their profession in an even contest this way.

Hit them where it hurts. Referees are now professional. Fine them two weeks wages for gross misconduct. That'll make them think twice.

Appeals. Under the current regulations, there is no way a club can appeal a red card issued for two bookings. The Spanish Inquisition had more room for maneuver.

Play the ball. Tackling has not as yet been outlawed. Fulham's Steve Finnan executed a perfect tackle on Man Utd's Ryan Giggs at Old Trafford last Sunday. Much as David Beckham's free-kicks are a thing of beauty, let's ration them out a little. Then again, defenders could remember what you're taught from the earliest age - don't dive in.

Make-up calls. Since when did they become part of the laws of the game?

Failing all that, we could always take Aston Villa manager John Gregory's choice words of advice, and I'm quoting here: "referees should be wired up to a couple of electrodes and be allowed to make three mistakes before you run 50,000 volts through their genitals".

Back on the field of play, Round 3 of the EPL sees more high-octane encounters this weekend. At Upton Park on Saturday, Paolo di Canio and Bowyer will have a contest to see whose veins bulge out further as West Ham takes on 100% Leeds. Chelsea's trip to Southampton, for the inaugural match at the Saints' new St. Mary's Stadium, is just the kind of game the Blues tend to lose. Is Frank Lampard "square ball" Ray Wilkins in disguise?

Sunday raises the temperature a degree or two, with Peter Schmeichel returning to Manchester Utd in a Villa uniform. Seeing Sol Campbell in an Arsenal shirt is strange enough, but the Great Dane won't like picking the ball out of Old Trafford nets. Then the first big derby match of the season sees Sunderland heading Tyneside to take on Newcastle. Top dogs in the northeast since they came back up to the EPL, the Black Cats have even won on their last two visits to St. James' Park, and that hadn't happened for 80 years.

Finally on Monday, Liverpool adjust from Monte Carlo to Bolton, with the Reds taking on the EPL's shock leaders just three days after a European Super Cup final against Bayern Munich, a match you can also catch on FOX Sports World. If Liverpool are to be genuine title challengers, the Bolton game is a must-win affair. As for the Trotters, well, I said my crystal ball was a little skewed. They've even got to the top without the aid of the match officials.